I hate flying.
Before college I had only flown once. During college I started flying more for various trips, and each time I flew I hated it. I simply thought it was because I hadn't done it that much and over time I would learn to like it at some point.
Over 10 years later I am here to tell you that I absolutely still hate flying. With a passion
I hate the whole process. From entering the airport to exiting the airport at my final destination I despise every detail of it.
First of all it is so stressful. Does my bag weigh more than 50 lbs? Do I have all the documentation I need? Did I forget something? Are they going to search me? Do I look suspicious? Do I look really suspicious by trying not to look suspicious?
Finally I'm through security. And then the absolute worst part of it all comes: the plane ride.
Each time I get on a plane I think "millions of people do this everyday and they survive I will be fine" and then about 20 minutes into the flight I'm convinced we are crashing.
I am constantly looking around at the people around me. Sipping their drink, reading a book, business men working on laptops, and I'm wondering WHY ARE THEY SO CALM WHEN DOOM IS IMMINENT???!!???
Every. Single. Time.
It never fails. Each time I prepare to fly I pack books, and music, and bring a comfy pillow thinking maybe I will sleep. And then each and every time I sit there paralyzed with fear, watching the people around me, convinced we are crashing and they just do not care.
I should probably take a pill or something.
Well this weekend I had to fly, and I had that nervous feeling in my stomach all weekend knowing that Sunday morning I would have to go through the whole airport process, and possibly fall from the sky.
Sunday morning came and at about 10:45 I boarded my plane and pulled out all my materials to hopefully distract me from the looming doom.
I was calmly reading my book when the flight attendant casually and calmly announced that things were about to get bumpy and everybody needed so stay seated.
I did my usual thing where I look around, expecting to meet eyes of other passengers and together we think "this is awful, we will not survive" but instead everybody seemed like they didn't even hear the announcement, nobody cared.
Then, because I'm not thinking rationally I tried to think of ways to get out of the situation, how can I avoid this bumpy ride? I can't go back in time and not get on the plane, I can't jump out the window, I can't go drive the plane for the pilot because I know NOTHING about navigating the skies. So really there was nothing I could do.
So next I prayed. I prayed and begged the Lord for the skies to clear, for whatever was going to cause the bumps (clouds? Wind? Birds? Weird things in the sky? I don't know how this works) to please make it disappear and give us a calm smooth ride.
You know how sometimes, you hear that still small, voice? I heard it. A relationship with the Lord is funny, because sometimes you get instruction straight from the Word, and sometimes you have a peace and you know the way in which you should move forward (while it aligns with the Word) and then there are those times, you feel a voice speaking inside of you, It is not audible, and could sound crazy to some, but you know, that you know, that you know, it is The Lord.
And I heard "it will get bumpy, and you will be ok." That was it. Nothing profound or life-changing but just those few words.
I would like to say that after that I was completely peaceful, but alas I was not.
And isn't life like that sometimes?
When we face something that is hard or challenging, or scary we look for a way out. How can I avoid this? What will it take to get out of this situation? We try and navigate it ourselves, even though we are not qualified to fly the plane that is our lives. We try and take over and think "if I could just fly this I could do a much better job".
And then it comes, the bumps, we ask the Lord to take them away, but He brings them anyways. And it may not feel good during the process, and it may be so far from peaceful during the time, but He says "and you will be ok".
The bumps in the flight came. And honestly, they weren't really that bad. That still made me nervous and nauseous, but I got through them and as soon as the wheels of that plane hit the pavement I did what I do at the end of every flight and thanked the Lord for getting us safely to our destination. And this time I also thanked him for what he taught me during the flight.
Because bumps will come, there will be times I want to run away from everything around me, but instead, with His help I will go straight through the bumps, and come out on the other side, ok, because of Him.