Two years ago I wrote a post for What to Expect regarding my thoughts on becoming a mom of two.
And now here we are, 24 months later two kids under my belt and one in my belly, getting ready to meet us here in a few months and I'm going through some of those same thoughts.
Some of them. Not all. In ways I'm wiser. It's been two years since that post, almost two years since we added another child to our family and I've learned a lot in those two years.
So in some ways I'm prepared this time. I'm not concerned about our routine getting messed up, because we will find a new routine with our new baby brother. I'm not concerned about Eli and Annie adjusting because they will adjust. And just as it happens to me and Luke every time they will find themselves more in love with this new baby than they ever thought possible.
Sure he will annoy them at times, and they might be upset because life will be a little different at first and they will now share me with another sibling, which could take a bit to get used to, but it will happen. They will get used to it, and they will forget what life was like before. A new baby does that, it takes you by surprise in every way, the amount of love you feel and the way it takes history and almost erases it. The worries and concerns and fears you had before this baby come seem to disappear the moment that baby rests in your arms. It's like the magic of a new baby.
And after five years of being a mom I know I still have a lot (A LOT) to learn but I've also learned a lot through these last years.
I've learned not to stress about what life will be like after the baby gets here. We will find our groove like we always do. Up and downs, highs and lows, together we weather it all.
I've learned to not obsess about my weight. I will lose it....eventually. And if it doesn't come off right away well I have the rest of my life to get it off. Right now I have babies that need a mama who loves herself for who she is - not one consumed with her appearance and how she "feels" in clothes.
I've learned that I don't need a fully stocked, picture perfect nursery. Give me a cradle next to my bed, some diapers & wipes, a couple of baby gowns and good breast pads and we're good to go.
I've learned to not say things like "I will look cute when I deliver my baby" because then they come at the oddest times and I look like a hot mess.
I know I will sleep again.
And I will live outside of the "eats every 3 hours" increments again.
And most importantly I've learned that my heart can and will stretch, and when it seems I can't possibly love somebody else as much as I love Eli and Anniston I will find room in my heart and that love that caught me off guard the first two times will again find it's place. How is it possible to love another being so much? I have no idea but a mom's heart knows.