I've had two people ask me if I have cooked in my kitchen yet. So I decided to update the masses and let you know that I have in fact cooked in my kitchen.
Actually I cooked in there tonight so that makes thee times. And all three times it was as awful as I imagined it would be.
No amount of bleach will make me feel clean in this kitchen. And that feeling of ickiness was multiplied when I found out from neighbors that the man that occupied this house before us (for many many years) was lovingly referred to as Crazy Larry.
There are few things less comforting than finding out you now dwell in Crazy Larry's abode.
Or showering in Crazy Larry's shower. Feel sorry for me.
As a consolation prize (or the fact that we don't have a mortgage right now) Luke agreed to create a spot for a house cleaner in our budget.
So twice a week Crazy Larry's house gets cleaned and I feel a little bit better about our situation.
This morning the wonderful and angelic cleaner came so Eli and I went to the park to give her space to do what she needed to do without tripping over legos and trains.
Eli and I spent all morning at the park. We walked around for a bit, went and chased the ducks, climbed and then slid down slides and rode in a bouncy motorcycle. We finished our morning off at Chick Fila where Eli played in the 5X5 play area that I'm sure carries every virus any child in a 10 mile radius has been infected with.
There are times when having a thumb sucker is not good. When your child climbs up something that has probably been thrown up on, pooped, peed and spit on and then sucks his thumb you just gotta GIVE IT TO GOD. Or you might have a coronary right there.
When we first left the house this morning I was irritated (which seems to be my attitude of choice lately) I'm so sick of living in a rent house and everything that comes along with it (hopefully not including the ghost of Crazy Larry) (RIP Larry). But as we spent our morning playing and me continuously yanking Eli's thumb out of his mouth I started to realize how ridiculous it is for me to have an "irritated" attitude.
I am able to spend an entire morning with my son at the park. This time last year I wanted to do that so badly. I longed to stay home with Eli and spend summer mornings at the park. And here I now have it, but I've already deemed it "not good enough" and moved onto the next thing I want.
In full disclosure, because of our choice for me to stay home, there are many materials "wants" we go without and our house search has probably been a bit harder because we have a specific budget we must stick to. But all the withouts and budget talks and everything that comes with living on one salary, are so beyond worth it.
So this morning, well mid-morning I actively chose to change my irritated attitude to a grateful attitude. Sure I'm in someone else's kitchen trying to maneuver it and yes we don't have at timeline for when we will be moving into "our" house but I have SO much else to be grateful for.
Like lazy summer mornings at the park with this guy.
Some people struggle with gossip, or food issues or anything else, but for whatever reason I struggle with negativity. My first instinct in a situation is to go negative, talk negative and think negative. I have to work hard to keep negative thoughts from spilling out onto my lips. And I don't always win that battle.
But today I'm thankful for warm mornings at the park where I feel the Lord whisper to me to be grateful. Not in a pushy or mean way, but in a soft way that seems like a simple reminder...."look around, look at my gifts" and then I remember to be thankful......so thankful.
And just in case there is any confusion, being grateful does not mean I will be cooking anytime soon. I'm still working on being thankful for Crazy Larry's kitchen.
There are times in life when the negativity comes easier than others, and I will struggle with it again, but I'm grateful for those small yet clear reminders, be thankful.