Sometimes I feel like I have so much going on in my head that I can't get it all to formulate some sort of post. And it's not even serious "stuff" on my mind. Just simple things like a weekend recap, or Eli's two year appointment or the night I made meatloaf and twice baked potatoes.
You know, thought provoking, life-changing tid bits.
But instead of posting something new tonight I'm just going to repost something that I wrote almost a year ago. The same message has been stirring in my heart again this week and it speaks about how I feel right now.
And it's timely considering what is happening this weekend. Or shall I say what happened 2000 years ago?
He is Risen.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
From the time I brought Eli home from the hospital he was a good sleeper. But he did have his moments. There were times where he would wake up in the middle of the night and nothing would calm him but nursing.
So one particular night last summer I found myself sitting up in bed at 4:30 am, half awake, flipping through the channels trying to find something to keep me occupied while I nursed my baby, longing for him to go back to sleep.
I'm not sure how I landed on it, but I started watching an infomercial type show about people who drink this miracle water given to them by a "pastor" and all kinds of good things happen to them once they drink this so called miracle water.
One lady had a car given to her by a stranger after she drank the water.
A man's son was healed after he drank the water.
Another instantly found a job once the water had been consumed.
I sat in my bed feeling bad for these people.
I even thought of them as pitiful and naive for believing such obvious ridiculousness.
Then it dawned on me, to some people I am just like those people who are drinking the "miracle" water.
I believe in a man who rose from the dead. I believe in heaven and hell. I believe in a God who is just and faithful and full of grace. And I believe a book is God-breathed and I look to it for guidance.
And I bet at some point in my life somebody has looked at me with pity for believing what they think is such nonsense.
As I sat watching these people drink this water and boast of it's goodness I understood why people can doubt the existence of a loving God. We are surrounded with news of violence, destruction, and heartache everyday. There is always a new prayer request and always a story of gloom that leaves you asking "why?" Also, there are so many "gimmicks" out there such as this miracle water, it's easy to lump them all into one big "gimmick".
Naturally I thought, What makes me any different from those people who believe that drinking this water will make their life wonderful?
And it came to me in one word: Relationship.
I have a relationship with the God that is just and faithful and full of grace. I can go to him at any time, in any place, for any reason. I can call on His name and He is there.
People are looking for anything to cling to, so if that means drinking water to give them some sort of hope in a world that seems hopeless, they will do it.
But I choose to go to my creator. The One who listens to me, leads me, and guides me.
And this doesn't always mean a new car from a stranger, or the perfect job or even all prayers answered exactly how we want, but it does mean unconditional love, forgiveness and peace.
Contrary to what much of the world thinks a relationship with Christ isn't about rules, and what to do and what not do, and it's not about being perfect and living the perfect life and most importantly it isn't about "drinking the kool aid" just because somebody on a stage says to do it.
It is about a relationship. It's that simple.
And I'm not naive, I know there are bad apples out there who make an entire group of Christians look bad. Just as there are with any group, there are people who judge, people who speak not out of love and people who make those who do not believe what they believe uncomfortable.
But, for me, as a follower of Christ, I hope and pray that I always come across with love. I do not agree with a lot of what goes on around me, but that does not mean I will cut off relationships, publicly bash people or condemn people. I want to love just as He has loved all of us.
Why am I saying all of this? Because lately I've seen people lumping Christians up into one group that is full of close minded bigots and for me (and I'm proud to say my church and the people I surround myself with) that is not even close to the case.
My hope and prayer that as I come into contact with people whether it be through friendships, social media or even my cashier at Target, that they would see the love of Christ through my words and actions. I know that I won't always be good at this, even though I am a Christian I am human afterall, and we make mistakes. It seems that too many times the world does not allow Christians to make mistakes.
But I do and I will.
I am called to love, and I strive everyday to do this as best I can. The rest isn't up to me to figure out and work out.