11/7/12

A Season of Thankfulness

It's amazing to me that my God knows everything about me.

The bible says that God knew me before he formed me, that while I was in the womb he knit every part of me together. He knows my thoughts and knows what I'm going to say before I say it (which is sometimes scary). He knows me.

As a follower of Christ this is all crazy for even me to think about, so I can only imagine how bizarre it may sound if you are not a follower of Christ, or perhaps a bit skeptical of it all. But it is true. Our God knows me, He knows you.

And try as I might to take control and do my  own thing because I "know" what is best for me, I can't and eventually I am reminded that He really does know what is best for me.

Right now I'm in a season where I recognize that handing my life over to God and humbly following His lead is what is best for me. I am in a season of thankfulness.

I know that it's the "right thing" to always say how thankful we are, but sometimes it just becomes "going through the motions" instead of true thankfulness.

I am so thankful that I am able to stay home. It is something that I always thought I would do. I thought it would be the natural cycle of my life. Grow up, get married, have a kiddo, stay home and take care of baby, house and husband.

But as we know, our picture of life is rarely how it turns out. And I am learning that is for the best.

God knows me, he knows what makes me tick, he knows how I'm wired, and He knows what I need, even if I disagree completely.
I never thought I would work after having a baby, and I'm thankful that I was able to work part time. I got a taste of both worlds during that time. Both as a working mom and a stay at home mom. Before having Eli I think I was a bit prideful in my thoughts about staying home. I thought there was no way I would go back to work after having my baby. No way, no how.
And then life happened and I realized that "no way, no how" wasn't realistic and going back to work was realistic. Now don't get me wrong, I am grateful that I had a job that I loved, but it was still hard at times to leave my baby. There were times when I was bitter and times when I wondered why the one thing I ever wanted I didn't have.

I always felt torn because with one side of my heart I was praying to God to provide a way for me to be home full time and on the other hand I was thankful for a great job and wonderful office atmosphere and thankful that I got to be home part time. But there were still days I longed to be home full time.

After being torn for over a year between praying for something and being thankful for something that contradicted that prayer request we found ourselves in a situation where our prayers answered. God provided a way that I could stay home full time.

And since that time I have had a heart full of thankfulness. Not just because my prayers were answered but because I serve  a God who knows what I need. He knew I needed time to work. During that year I grew as a person, I grew as a mom, Luke and I grew as a copule, and I grew in my faith, knowing that God would provide in His perfect timing. And He did.

I understand it is easy for me to say all this now that I'm on the other side of having my prayer request answered, but it has strengthened my faith through other prayer requests. I have been reminded that my timing, my ways and my reasonings are not God's and I must look to Him.

Everyday I wake up so thankful for the opportunity to have to stay home with Eli, and thankful that I had an opportunity (though it didn't seem like that at the time) to work, because with that season I now know for sure this is exactly where I want to be. And I give all the glory to God.

5 comments:

Jamie Bird said...

What a great post Megan! I, too, stay home with Bennett (you already know that) and I can't imagine doing anything else. That's why I decided to do Scentsy, so that I could contribute to my family financially. Thank you for this post and your genuine heart. I love reading your blog! :)

-Jamie
gjbird.blogspot.com

Life and Times . . . said...

I am praying for either a way to stay home or a more flexible job. The rigidity of my job is not conducive to be a wife and a mother, but it would take a miracle for me to be able to quit. Still I read your story and realize that God loves me and has good things for me.

Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

Beautiful and so true! We have had so many situations that after prayer and coming out the other side, every time our prayer was answered but not necessarily in the way we thought, and His way was always better! And our faith was strengthen during those times of leaning on/trusting Him and seeing His work. He has our best in mind. And that helps me now, especially in the midst of our adoption, I can rest in the fact that even though there have been (many) delays and lengthened processes (definitely hard when you first think about it), God's timing is perfect. So comforting. Hugs!

Maria said...

so exciting that you can live out this dream! i sell scentsy as well and we are due with our first in february. i've dreamed of staying at home, but with insurance, i just feel like it's not an option. i would love to have that opportunity!

Kara said...

I identify 100% with your post. I worked for a year before I was able to stay home, and now I am in my second year as a stay at home mom. It was unbelieveable the way things lined up for me to be able to stay home. I prayed about it every single day for so long, and thought it could never happen, and it is because of nothing but God ordained events that this happened for me, and I am so thankful.