Inspiration or Comparison?
Today a read a quote on Twitter that aboslutely resonated with me. Lisa Bevere tweeted the following:
Make sure social media inspires you rather than allow it to distract or create a culture of comparison and competition.
I was reading my timeline and simply read this like I would any other tweet, but had to stop and read it again.
Wow. I feel like there is such a powerful message in those short 20 words.
It is no secret that I am a lover of social media. Sometimes I am teased about this from friends who only know me through "real life" but my friends that I have met through blogging and/or twitter completely get it.
I love social media for the purpose of keeping up with friends that I probably would have grown apart from over time, I use it to develop deeper relationships, I use it to grow my Scentsy business, I use it to connect with others when I'm sitting at home with a crazy child and want some outside world contact.
There are so many positives to social media - but as with anything there are negatives.
Sometimes social media can dominate my time and this is NOT ok. I am going to be transparent and say that Luke and I have gotten into arguments over the amount of time I spend checking Twitter. He hates talking to me and trying to carry on a conversation with me while my eyes are glued to my phone.
And I don't blame him, yet I still do it and we still argue about it. I am trying to get better about it and trying to limit the times that I check twitter but GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T WANT TO MISS OUT ON GOOD CONVERSATIONS. Dumb, I know.
And while reading the tweets, and looking at the pics I sometimes get lost in the game of comparison. Not about material things because honestly comparing my material items to another person's items have never been a problem for me. I can look at someone's beautiful ginormous home or all their designer clothes and say "wow that's awesome for them but we choose to do other things with the money that we have". I have never really struggled with being jealous of what other's have.
But I do have plenty of struggles in other areas. Often times I feel like a failure as a mom or wife when I read what other's are doing. I compare my relationship with Luke to others thinking, "hmm they don't seem to fight as much as we do" or in regard to motherhood I think "wow, I don't work with my child as much as they work with theirs, I wonder if they will have an honor student and I will have a bully?"
This would be the place where social media goes from a fun simple thing to something that is bringing negativity into my life and allowing me to go into the pit that is comparison.
Because I love social media so much I don't want it to become something negative in my life. So I've been trying to figure out what I can do to keep it a source of inspiration in my life and not something that only brings negativity.
I've been working on changing my thoughts from comparison to motivation. If I see something that makes me feel inadequate as a mom I can take a step back and reevaluate. Is this a rational feeling? If so how can I inappropriate this into my life? What can I take from this? If it's not a rational feeling I can recognize that it is a lie and stop the thought.
Social media can be a good place, I have gotten so many tips and help in regards to parenting Eli, fun date night ideas, good crafts, amazing organization ideas and I'm able to connect with spiritual leaders I respect. I have developed some amazing and authentic friendships through social media. I just have to learn to let go of the comparison game. It's not healthy and it is turning something in my life that can be good into something negative. I don't want to take away something that could be good just because I can't control my own thoughts and emotions.
Do you find yourself struggling in any area with social media? How can you make it a source of inspiration in your life?