Luke and I have noticed a pattern that has developed lately. For some reason every single Monday night I say I don't feel good and go to sleep early.
I blame it on the fact that I only work Monday through Wednesday afternoon so I have four nights where I allow myself to stay up as late as I want even though I have the same sweet wake up call around 6:15-6:30 every single morning.
So by the time Monday night rolls around after a full day's work I am usually wiped. My week of wild shenanigans has caught up to me.
Wild shenanigans equals watching Friends while laying in bed eating crackers.
Today was no exception. After driving home from work and picking up dinner (shame shame I did not cook tonight) it was time to bathe Eli, feed him his dinner, and get in some family play time (while we watched football commentary of course) before Eli went to bed.
Soon after he went to bed I got busy with my to do list. I had several emails to return, lots of housework to be done, Scentsy business to take care of and a dinner to eat.
Part of my "me" time involved doing laundry. I can usually sneak into Eli's room and put his laundry away without him even stirring. Tonight I was softly placing his pajamas in his top drawer when I looked over at his crib and realized he was sitting straight up staring directly at me.
It might have been the freakiest thing that has happened to me in a long time.
I tried to sneak out, thinking maybe he wasn't fully awake, or perhaps he was sit-sleeping? Or maybe he would think it was all a dream and drift back to sleep.
But of course it didn't happen, he started screaming. I'm sure he was confused as all get out. I was just in his room, he probably thought I was coming to get him.
I let him cry for a bit but there was no doubt that he was not going back to sleep, so I went back in there scooped him up and started rocking him.
Immediately I started thinking of all the things I needed to be doing. This was using up the precious little time I have each evening to take care of 1200 things before my head hits the pillow.
And then I stopped my thoughts dead in their tracks. Was I seriously getting grumpy about spending more time with my baby? I was holding a sweet baby who in that moment only wanted to be comforted by me. How could I even for a second not savor every minute of this?
Yes at the moment it seemed like an inconvenience but I decided to use the moment. In the hustle and bustle of everything I rarely have moments of being still and quiet. I just took it in. Rocking my baby, using the quiet time to pray, thanking God for so much, and seeking his guidance in so much.
Pretty soon Eli was asleep but I stayed there, just rocking him, listening to the rhythm of his breathing and taking in his sweet, clean baby smells.
I started to think about how this seemed like an inconvenience but was really a blessing in disguise to spend some quiet time. And then I remembered that this time last year we were preparing for what seemed like a little inconvenience.
When we got pregnant we were 2 years into our "5 year plan". Oh how I thank God everyday that he knows what is best for us. At the moment nothing made sense. We did not feel ready for a baby in any sense of the form. Yet we were. We sought Him and He prepared us.
How thankful I am.
God uses inconvenience everyday.
Tonight I am extremely thankful for the opportunity to rock my baby back to sleep. He is growing everyday and sadly he won't always let me rock him. And I don't want to be like that creepy mom from that one book that crawls in her son's room and rocks him when he is asleep and is a grown man. I'm not that crazy. Yet.
And sure enough, after I was done rocking Eli and he was back to sleep everything that seemed so pressing before was still waiting for me and didn't seem so pressing anymore.
Now it's time to go to bed. My pressing matters can wait. I was able to enjoy some unscheduled time with my baby and my God tonight and that was worth every lost "scheduled" moment.