10/11/11

A Journal of Faith

Tonight I've spent some time reading old posts on my blog.

Yes, I'm the same girl who complains that there isn't enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done, but then I will take a precious hour and sit in front of the computer and read stories of nonsense from the last four years of my life.

Sometimes I can't believe that I'm still occupying this teeny tiny corner of the internet writing random stories about nothing.

But it's my nothing and I love every single bit of it. From the story of Luke dropping his keys down the gutter prior to us even being married all the way to adjusting to life with a newborn and learning our new normal, I love going back and reading them all.

I also love going back through my blog because I think it helps puts life into focus. It is so funny for me to go back and read stories about wedding planning chaos, or my desire to be out of our apartment and into a home or even stories as recent as breastfeeding stories and being so sick of it even though I had only done it for a short amount of time.

Going back and reading these stories I see just how short seasons of life are. I wanted out of our apartment so badly and I now look back on those two extremely short years with fondness. What fun we had in that apartment. We had hardly any responsibility, a lot of extra money, and a small quaint space to grow together as a couple and learn what marriage was all about.

I remember a few short months ago being so worried that I was the only person in the world who still had a three month old sleeping in their room and how "embarrassing" that was and I couldn't tell anybody because WHAT WOULD THEY THINK? I remember thinking I needed to get Eli in his own room ASAP because if I didn't he would be 20 years old and still sleeping in our room and then THAT would be really embarrassing

Now, three months later that baby is sleeping all night in his own room. I worried and fretted about absolutely nothing. Imagine that.

This time last year we were faced with an unexpected situation, and I wrote this post. Now a year later I see how God took that situation and not only made good from it but he made it WONDERFUL. Beauty from ashes. I see how He was protecting us and leading us.

And that is one reason that I am so glad that I kept this blog. I have story after story on here of God's faithfulness. God's provision. God's timing.

It's almost comical to go back through and read stories of details that I was anxious about and see how God worked it out.

This is an area of my life I have always struggled with; worry, fear, anxiety. So many times they consume me. Right now I have areas of my life where worry is trying to consume me. But I've started to think maybe that is one reason why I created this blog, I not only have a record of my life and funny memories that I would have otherwise forgotten, but I also have evidence of God's hand in my life - should I ever doubt it.

Things don't always go how I think they should, or even how I plan it, but I want to continue to put my trust in the One who does know how they should go. All the while continuing to journal the ways he is working in my life. Sometimes I cringe when I think of how I open my life and emotions for others to read but I also think that God is using those emotions, even if it's for nothing more than to teach my future self! :-)

A well known verse but one that has been on my heart and mind so much lately:

"For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength" Phillippians 4:13

15 comments:

Kirsten said...

Thanks for sharing this! I love that about blogging as well--God bless! :)

Classy Fab Sarah said...

Oh worry/fear/anxiety... they are friends of mine as well. I have such a hard time surrendering to the fact that things don't always happen perfectly on my perfect little life plan.

Ashley said...

Great post, Megan :)

Mark and Jill Robertson said...

Hello, I am fairly new to your blog but have enjoyed it so much-- This was a great post and reminder. Thank you for a change in my perspective today!!
You have said you work part-time-- how much do you work and how do you feel about your work/family balance?

Coupon Clippin Mama said...

I do the same thing..I worry about thing and fear that bad things are going to happen...its awful! I love your posts..I just recently started reading regularly!

Claire said...

He is so good.

What a sweet post. I love to read back through my blog too!

Cxx

Lauren said...

such a great post and really well written!!

Lauren said...

love this post...I enjoy reading back through my stages of life as well. It certainly does put things in perspective!

Holly said...

Thanks for posting this - I've been feeling lots of worry & anxiety as well lately. The older I get, the more I worry! I struggle with trusting God fully with my life - it's so easy to forget that he's in control and he wants the best for us.

Michelle said...

Girl! Get OUT of my head! I swear you just took my thoughts and put them into words. I have been struggling SO MUCH with worry and fear. Being a Mom is HARD! I bought Angie Smith's "What Women Fear" book and I know I need to make time to read it...but I think I'm just anxious to look fear in the eyes and admit that I can't face it alone. Thanks for the reminder that I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. :)

-Lauren said...

I love doing this also. It puts worries and life's obstacles into perspective. Did you know there is a company that makes your blog into a book. Google it. It's a pretty neat idea.

Amy said...

love this post!! i love the idea of blogging being a way to share and for God to teach my future self....cause I know i still got a looooong way to go! :) thank you for sharing!! (ps - my baby is 5mos and STILL in our room :) my 1st baby stayed in our room until 6mos when my husband basically kicked her out - ha! and she slept just fine in her own bed)

Alison said...

I just need to FINALLY leave a comment after coming to your blog over and over and over again. I am SO thankful that you have continued to blog. Your blog serves as such an encouragement to my life. I don't know you and you don't know me, but God uses you A LOT in my life. Thank you for blogging. Most of all, thank you for being REAL. :)

Maria said...

Preach on, Mrs. Megan! We just recently started a blog for similar reasons, and to document life, blah,blah,blah. I had been wanting to start one for YEARS but felt weird about it. I mean, how much do I share, what do I include, who would read it, what if I'm not a good writer, etc?
Anyway, I'm struggling with patience and worry too. In this time in my life, I feel desperate and constantly cry out to God for answers. But He is the answer and learning to trust in Him is the only way to get peace, the kind that surpasses all understanding.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

Thanks for this. I do the same thing sometimes. Its crazy to go back and see how situations that were such nightmares at the time,turned out so well. I needed this as a reminder for a current situation. Here's to hoping this one turns out as well as some of the others...