8/29/11

Marriage

I remember the first time Luke told me he didn't believe in soul mates.

We were in college, dating, and it was like he stuck a knife directly through my heart.

Well, maybe not quite that dramatic, but I'm dramatic so let's stick with it.

Knife. Through. The. Heart.

HOW could he not believe in soul mates?

I mean all of the movies tell us to find our soul mates, the majority of the Christian culture tells us our soul mate is out there and every song on the radio references a soul mate in some way.

SOUL MATES ARE REAL!!!!!

Of course he gave me his reasons as to why he doesn't think that soul mates were real (blah blah). I pretended to listen but really just thought he was a crazy, heartless man.

Several years later I married that crazy, heartless man. He still didn't believe in soul mates and I didn't care. It was time to get married.

We've now been married for three years and we still joke about our difference of opinion in this particular matter.

We went to a marriage conference this weekend and listened to many wise speakers talk about marriage and the up, downs, and in betweens that entail a marriage.

The whole weekend I couldn't help but think of how lucky I am that I am able to call Luke my husband. Going into marriage we had many, I stress, MANY differences, we are about as night and day as a married couple could get, but we loved each other and we had our love for Christ in common and for us, it was all that mattered.
(Us this weekend on our way to the marriage conference)

Marriage is not easy, just with anything in life we go through valleys and peaks. There will be times that I think "man, we've really got this marriage thing DOWN".

And then there will be times where it is hard. Arguments come easier, emotions are more sensitive and nerves are frazzled, those are the times when we learn what being married is really all about.

Each season of life we learn how to move through the leaps and bounds. Adding a baby to the mix wasn't the smoothest transition but we are learning how important communication is. We try and set aside time for us, even if it is watching a movie together after Eli has gone to sleep. Or making a specific effort to sit at the dinner table and talk about our day, no TV's or computer.

Marriage is fun, hard, exciting, mundane, comical and sometimes even easy at times. But through it all I know that there is nobody else I would want to walk through life with. Luke is such a Godly man and does an incredible job of leading our family. He has taught me so much in the time that I've known him and is constantly challenging me and helping me grow in every way.

He knows just how to push my buttons and when I act annoyed I'm really cracking up inside and I know that when I'm watching Real Housewives and he is reading next to me, he is secretly peaking over the book fully engrossed in the drama that I know and love so much.
I'm so thankful I married my soul mate. Even if he doesn't think I'm his.

15 comments:

Lauren said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! :)

Julie said...

I used to believe in soul mates until recently. The more I studied on marriage, the more I realized that the reason I know that Jamin is the one for me, is because I'm married to him, nothing more, nothing less.

We are taking a marriage class at our church and we love it. One thing I've learned thus far is that the person whom you are married to is a perfect mirror to display all of YOUR sin. Nothing will bring out the sin you need to fix in your life more than the person that you are married to. Rather than God needing to change him, I need God to transform MY life.

Soul mate or no soul mate, God designed this person you are with to help you grow in Christ.

Kate said...

:)

It is interesting b/c I do not believe in soul mates either. Sure, initially falling in love feels like magic and destiny, but I think staying in love is a conscious decision that we do have to work at. And I think that's actually so much more romantic... waking up everyday and saying "I choose you, with all your faults and quirks and annoying choices in television programming!" not just "well, fate decided we should be together and here we are!"

Courtney said...

I've had this conversation with many girlfriends in the past. I'm of the belief that soul mates don't exist either just because I think the myth is out there that there is only ONE person to complete me when really God is the only one who can do that. I think if you aren't careful with the concept of soul mates it can dangerous for a marriage.
During our pre-marital counseling we learned that we choose who our soul mate is by deciding to marry them. And by the grace of God we continue to choose to love them and be with them every day. I have other girlfriends who are on your side and they have great arguments as well. At the end of the day, I guess all that matters is that you work hard to love your spouse through the ups and downs and always work on your marriage.

Chelsi said...

I really like this post. Im not sure where I stand on the soul mate discussion but I like seeing the different perspectives and want to check back when there are more comments! I really want my hubby & I to attend a marriage conference... We need to find a home church first. It's such a daunting task for us. :(

Casa Cannon said...

a) you look adorable, way to sport the leggings!
b) i totally agree with the above commenters and luke on the soul mates thing.. we choose that person, but i think there could have been others, but i have the one i chose.. that God chose, etc..it doesn't sound very romantic, but doesn't mean it can't be if you make that way! and
c) you're right, marriage is totally tough.. and then easy at times. so weird how that works.
okay, one more d) we are in year seven, and just discovered motive matters and the people/color code.. it's a pretty great way of understanding yourself and your spouse and how to do (and not do!) what works best for each of your personalities. pretty interesting stuff!

Waiting for Bulgaria said...

I'm with above commenters. I don't believe in soul mates but I do believe that my husband is the one for me because we are married. Sorry, to agree with Luke and not you. I'll try not to let it happen too much. ;)

Classy Fab Sarah said...

Aww... he's totally your soul mate. Men are silly.

He probably believes but now he can't back down and be wrong about it. Men, so silly. :)

-Lauren said...

Cute! It is so good to slow down and reflect on things like this in crazy busy lives.

Lauren said...

Guess you can add my vote to the "no soul mates" category! But I think I also stabbed my husband in the heart when I told him this while we were dating!

However, my husband is perfect for me and perfect for the choices I've made in my life...I can't imagine doing life with anyone else!

Glad you had a fabulous weekend!

Perfectly Imperfect said...

I really don't believe in soul mates either. I don't think B and I were "destined" to be together. I think we met, fell in love, chose each other and made a decision that it's me and him; forever. There are some days where I really have to choose to adore him (kidding!). But seriously, everyday is a choice to work through things. There is no other option for us but to stick together. I kind of like choosing him over and over.

Shelley said...

I don't believe in soul mates either. I think there are probably more guys out there who could love me and I love back. But I CHOSE michael and he chose me and we work at our marriage just like anyone else! Loved your post!

Dianna said...

I love this post! So sweet and honest!

Madison's Mommy said...

Love.This.Post.

Handful of Love said...

Thank you Megan! I certainly needed this little jolt and reminder for why I choose Mike Every.Day. God bless you and Luke and the many wonderful journeys He has in store for you together.