Becoming a parent has been hands down the most amazing experience of my life. I knew I would love that baby that was growing inside of me, but I had no idea just how much my love for him would encompass my entire being.
He is growing each and everyday and becoming a little more independent. It sounds so strange to call him independent, because he still relies on us for everything, but slowly and surely you can see his little personality forming.
He has started this new thing where he completely goes crazy when he sees us preparing his bottle. Sometimes, even if he didn't show any prior signs of hunger, when he sees us beginning the process of making his bottle, he will just about come out of his skin trying to get to the bottle.
We will measure the water, pour the powder and shake up the bottle and the whole time he will flail his arms grunting and whining loudly trying to show us in every way he knows how that he needs that bottle right this instant.
I know he can't comprehend it yet but I always tell him "Eli, I would never let you starve, never ever, I will give you this food as soon as it is ready." If I gave him the food before the formula was properly mixed it would be gross and would not give him the proper nutrition that he needed.
One day when I was preparing his bottle it hit me like a ton of bricks; this is so similar to my relationship with Christ.
How often is our relationship with Christ like that scenario with Eli and the bottle? God is working in our lives in some way but we do not comprehend it. The way He is pruning us and preparing us is something that we don't understand, but we know that we must wait on Him, that everything He does for us is for our best interest. We can't even comprehend why He would make us wait when WE CAN SEE IT RIGHT THERE, but He knows why. He knows what nutrition we need, why we need it and when.
As we grow in our walk with Him, His voice becomes easier to decipher and sometimes even easier to comprehend. We still may not understand why He does something, but we have learned, through faith and past experiences with Him that He looks after us, He cares for us and He is leading us, even if it seems like we are at a standstill.
This is where I am today. I can see God shaking that bottle and I so badly just want Him to give it to me, but it isn't ready. He still needs time. I still need time. I really don't understand why I need more time, so I'm whining and grunting and maybe even stomping my feet, but He remains true to His word "he works all things out for the good of those who love him".
So even though I can't understand His ways, I can comprehend that he is a good God, a just God, a loving God, and he would never, ever, ever, leave me. He just needs to shake the bottle a little more because the ingredients aren't quite ready.