3/10/11

Coming Home

On Wednesday, very early in the wee morning my son left his safe, little cocoon and entered the big scary world.

And today, I also was forced to leave my safe, little cocoon. By no choice of my own I had to leave the safe hospital that I have come to call home in the past 72 hours and embark into the real world.

My real world that is now made up of a living, breathing, crying human being that is my responsibility.

Does anybody else find it weird that the people that you have come to know and trust at the hospital put this baby in your hands, kick you out the door and basically say "peace out, have fun, don't get hurt!"

All the while I'm looking at them like, "ummm for the past 48+ hours you have brought me meals, helped me nurse, bathed him, checked his temp, took him when I needed to rest, kept an eye on me and now you just want to thrust me into the great unknown with this CHILD?!?!?"

There is something wrong with that system.

And the fact that I'm a bit hormonal might have something to do with how I am reacting to the whole situation. I was seriously sad to leave the nurses who I have come to know and love and asked one nurse if they get as attached to their patients as we do to them.

She just laughed and smiled a sweet smile. I'm thinking that means no. Something tells me that after checking my stitches numerous times throughout my stay there she simply sees me as her job and not as her BFF, which is now how I see her.

We've now been home for about 7 hours and so far all is pretty good. If someone was keeping score between who is crying more me or Eli.....I would be winning at this point.

Every time my crying starts up my mom (who is staying with us) just looks at Luke and says "don't worry it's just the hormones" and then we all continue on our merry way. Normal life has a new face.

Everything on the baby front is going well. Eli is asleep in his cradle and I'm about to go in and nurse him. I am loving each new thing I am experiencing, even if everything isn't easy. It's life and we are learning every step of the way.

I still can't believe that this precious baby that is now in front of me is the same baby that I carried around in my tummy. It blows my mind. I look at those little feet and think of how they once kicked me in the ribs. Amazing.

Here are some pics of us leaving the hospital today. If Eli looks tiny it's because he is. We aren't sure how we got such a tiny baby but we'll take him!
P.S. if you've ever wanted to know what I look like with no makeup and after I've cried numerous times about leaving a nurse that probably doesn't even remember me, please see above.

36 comments:

  1. Oh I think you're gorgeous, make up or no. And Eli is just precious. I think they should provide instruction manuals with those kids but alas, that's not the case. Still, you're going to be a fabulous mom - you're already doing a great job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I will cry when I have to leave the "safe zone" too--AKA Hospital!

    Eli is too cute!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You really don't look bad! People theink they look a lot worse than they actually look. Seriously, you look fine. Stop worrying.

    Good to know Eli is safe and healthy and both of you are happy. I'm 25 and single and i want a baby now too. Your life looks really perfect Megan. You're a lucky girl. So stop complaining abt your make-up-less face. You look great. I would love to be you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations on bringing that sweet handsome little boy home! And rest assured, I think every single new mom gets home with their baby, looks at their husband & goes "Um.. what now?"

    I cried hysterically the first night my oldest daughter was home... Like the whole first night. It was not my finest moment, but she's 7 now and all in one piece, so I guess I didn't mess her up too badly yet! (j/k... sorta.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so happy for you! I COMPLETELY understand the random and frequent crying spells. I have a 16th month old and #2 is due by c-section on Thursday (St. Patty's day). My biggest fear is that first few weeks when I figure I'll repeat my "bringing baby home meltdown" phase. It's hard to be in the midst of it but it will get easier. The lack of sleep really doesn't help anything. I can tell you the moment when Case (first son) smiled at me is when my whole world totally turned around. I no longer felt like I was babysitting him. I finally felt like he was mine and I was completely and totally in love with him. Now I just worry about how I'll ever love the next baby as much as I love Case. I joke with my husband about entering my "padded room" for the next few weeks after baby #2 is born. Oh the joys of motherhood!!!!!

    So happy for you! I've followed you through most of your pregnancy. I guess I'm kind of your blog stalker :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I promise your crying will slow down! He is beautiful and I LOVE what he wore home from the hospital! I know nursing is hard work, but congrats to you for keeping it up! It is so good for him and you will see the pounds start dropping off! Can't wait to read your birth story!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think you look great and I love how proud both you and your hubby look... and you should be! Eli is TOO cute!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You guys really do look great! This is an exciting time for you, so feel free to cry all you want! (Not that you could help it anyway, from what I understand!) You're going to be great parents!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't have any children yet, but I've heard every day gets gradually easier and better. Enjoy this special time at home with Eli and know you're going to be a great mom!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congratulations!!!
    I've been reading your blog for the past year or so, and watched your belly grow and I just rejoiced when I saw you had your baby.

    All you need to be a great mom is within you, God put it there...so rely on it and you will be just fine. What a journey! Can't wait to read all about it. I love your humor and heart.

    Thanks for letting us share in your joy.
    Kelly in Michigan

    ReplyDelete
  11. I didn't want to leave the hospital either! Megan, he is SO precious!!! Such a beautiful baby boy!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was terrified to leave the hospital and totally wanted to befriend my nurse of FB just so she could reassure me 24/7. Thank goodness I didn't.

    You'll figure it out. It's going to take a while, but you'll get it. And I cried for weeks (Okay I'll tell you hours ;)) It's okay.

    He really is tiny!! And so, so beautiful!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You look great, and Eli is precious!!! Don't worry too much about the hormones; they ease up soon enough. I once had an all out come apart because I couldn't get my hair to go into a ponytail without it having lumps in it. I'm talking complete meltdown!

    You will get used to your new normal life faster than you think!

    ReplyDelete
  14. It is pretty crazy to think that after 2-3 days of full on help, the hospitals just say, "Okay! You're on your own now!" But I'm sure you will do fine. You and Luke are going to excellent parents, even if it seems terrifying!!

    Your little guy is so precious. I can't wait for more pictures :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Okay I have four kids ages 10 months to 18 years and thought I was the only person who became obsessed with her nurses!!!! To this day, I can remember each nurse's name and face. I had all of the kids at the same hospital, and I still CRY Each. And. Every. Time we drive by it :). Otherwise, though, I am over it, HA :). ((My husband thinks I am a nutso about this.). You have so much to look forward to with your sweet angel. You already are an incredible mother. Enjoy your precious baby!!!! -Jenny in MD

    ReplyDelete
  16. I totally remember that feeling, like "but wait? isn't there an instruction manual or something?" haha . . anyways, you are beautiful and totally allowed to cry - you just delivered a baby after all! :-) and your little man is beautiful too!

    ReplyDelete
  17. What a handsome little guy! I think you look great! Happiness always counteracts no make-up!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Congratulations!! I am sure you are doing a wonderful job at home with your new little one. He is adorable and I love his sweet going home outfit. Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend at home with your new family!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am so not kidding when I tell you that when I left the hospital after AK was born I was crying/sobbing/heaving so hard that it was a SCENE and people were staring. STARING. I hugged my nurse so hard and would not let go. I loved her so much. She was my nurse with Connor AND Avery Kate. So precious to me. I loved her. It was an ugly, ugly cry. I couldn't even breathe I was crying so hard. I guess that is normal, if that makes you feel better. Or maybe I am just psycho and you are right there with me! :) ha! Eli is adorable and you are already a fantastic mommy!! Praying for you girlie!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I felt the same way when we left the hospital with our first.
    All they gave us was an instruction booklet about how to care for a circumcision and umbilical cord?!

    You'll get the hang of it real quick :).

    ReplyDelete
  21. Congrats Megan!! He is just so good looking! I remember feeling like I could take much better care of Addy when she was in my belly and feeling so overwhelmed (SO happy though) at the thought of her being my responsibility! It's amazing how you just figure everything out though! You will DO great! Your life just got so much better!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Megan, what makes your blog once of my favorite ones to read is that you always keep it real, warts and all. As someone who is terrified about taking care of a baby but is still thinking about having one, I appreciate your honest admission that it is scary! It is very reassuring to know I am not the only one who feels that way!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Those nurses made such an impression on me 10 years ago that I am in nursing school to be one! You are so funny!!! Crying is very normal. Hormones, the overwhelming realization that your baby is 100% helpless and dependent on you, and breastfeeding are so much to handle. Remember ... You will sleep again!

    ReplyDelete
  24. He's beautiful!! Your crying will taper and you'll get the hang of things! It's not easy, but it's great. Make sure you ask for help when you need it and take it when people offer to help you out. I didn't with my first and became overwhelmed. That's my piece of advice that you didn't ask for. :)
    Congrats on your sweet little man!

    ReplyDelete
  25. He is beautiful and so are you! Congratulations and welcome to motherhood - you are in for a wonderful, wild ride!

    ReplyDelete
  26. He is so tiny and precious!!! My first thought was "Where is all the hair?!?!" Congrats and Welcome to Mommyhood!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Congratualtions! Your family is perfect! Tears are SOOOO normal post-partum...both happy and sad. I pray your adjustment to motherhood is going well!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Congrats! Your newly expanded family is so perfect and cute! He's such a sweet lil baby!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. He is just beautiful and you, my dear, are a fabulous mom!! You look beautiful!!!

    Have a Blessed evening,
    Dawn

    ReplyDelete
  30. Eli is sooooo sweet and tiny!!! Precious, can't wait to hear more about your new adventures with your little man!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Gah! I was out all last week and just hearing the news! Congrats to you guys - he is such a cutie pie! So glad to hear things are going so well.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I completely agree. I couldn't believe they sent me home with my son either (he only weighed 4.5 lbs). On the other hand, he's three and he survived so I guess they weren't completely wrong. But let me tell you, when I was being wheeled out to meet my husband who had brought the car around, the nice older lady who was pushing me out asked me my son's name. I couldn't remember - at all. I kept thinking I know his name starts with an A. Super embarrassing. Yet they still put him the car with me and sent him home. Insanity.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I completely agree. I couldn't believe they sent me home with my son either (he only weighed 4.5 lbs). On the other hand, he's three and he survived so I guess they weren't completely wrong. But let me tell you, when I was being wheeled out to meet my husband who had brought the car around, the nice older lady who was pushing me out asked me my son's name. I couldn't remember - at all. I kept thinking I know his name starts with an A. Super embarrassing. Yet they still put him the car with me and sent him home. Insanity.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for leaving a comment. I try my best to respond to all comments but don't always succeed. I do love reading each and every comment though!