2/13/11

Balancing Act

Two times a year there is this HUGE craft fair that comes to our area.

In case you don't know, I have to tell you, craft shows rock my world. I'm not sure if it's because I grew up going to them, or because I do not have a creative bone in my body so I gladly pay other people to be creative for me or if I just like to people-watch at said craft shows, but whatever the reason is I love love love them.

I know when this craft show comes every year and I somewhat save some money to prepare for he big day.

I say somewhat because saving money has never been my fortay. That's why I married Luke, he is an excellent saver.

Anyways... after church a friend picked me up (I'm so pathetic without a car, I need a car ASAP) and we headed down to the craft show.

It was 5 buildings of goodness. Purse crafty goodness.

And I had one goal in mind to find the finishing-touches pieces for Eli's room.

I feel like I was moderately successful in this venture.

I found some decorations to go in his nursery (is it called decorations if it's for a boy?) and I love them all. But I still feel like I need a couple of key pieces before the nursery is complete.

So for now, the nursery is still a work in progress.

After several hours of shopping my friend had to leave and I had arranged for Luke to pick me up. So I had a bit of down time by myself in the time period between my friend leaving and Luke picking me up.

Seriously, when did I backtrack to the age of 15? At least I own a straighter in this era of being a 15 year old again.

Straighter, then car. Priorities people.

OK back to the craft show. Naturally it was during the time that I as alone that I realized I needed to find a restroom pronto. Baby boy was on my bladder and it was not fun.

I tried to walk (waddle) around and not think about using the restroom but it was inevitable. I needed to find a bathroom quick.

So here I am, big and pregnant Megan with a heavy bag in one hand that has a plank of wood sticking out of it (for nursery, pictures coming sometime in the next 6 months) and I'm carrying a lampshade in the other hand and I've also got my purse to deal with.

And I was NOT about to set any of that stuff on the nasty, sticky, wet-in-some-areas bathroom floor.

Because we all know the wet areas on the bathroom floor are not wet from water. Use your imagination.

So I did what any normal person would do. I thought back, deep in my mind to an Oprah episode I saw at one point in the 25 years she has been on TV.

And I clearly remember her once telling me to never put my purse on the bathroom floor but instead hang it around my neck.

So I did.

Then I took the heavy bag with the wood plank (and various other purchases) and balanced it between my calves.

Then I took the lamp shade, that was wrapped in a trash bag and balanced it on my head.

And then I proceeded to squat over that nasty toilet. Which mind you, squatting is VERY hard for me on a good day.

And a good day means without a lampshade on my head, a bag balanced between my calves, a purse hanging from my neck and gigantic belly weighing me down.

But alas I did it. And I felt so victorious.

Then I went to wash my hands. And realized I was facing the same challenge. Well minus the squatting part, thankfully.

So I once again balanced the bag between my calves and put the lamp shade on my head. And then washed my hands.

All in front of a long line of women.

I definitely heard some women snicker.

However, I do feel honored that nobody offered to help. Obviously they thought I looked like I was in full control.

Clearly, they had no idea that the lampshade was teetering on my head and a mere seconds from crashing to the ground.

Or maybe they did and that's why they were snickering?

Regardless, I am woman, hear my roar.

I'm sure, in some way this little situation is preparing me for motherhood and everything that I am going to have to balance.

And it's always good to know you can balance a lampshade on your head while squatting over a toilet.

You know just in case of an emergency or something.

22 comments:

Melissa said...

This post is the best post of all time. I literally just laughed until I cried. So so funny!!! I have never heard of hanging it around your neck but I too have put things between my calves to avoid them being on the bathroom floor. You go girl.

Emily said...

I am incredibly impressed!

malloryjean said...

As Stephanie Tanner would say - How RUDE no one offered to help! Recently, @ 7 mos. preggo I carried a huge box to and from the post office/ups store and no one offered to help or hold doors either - where are people's manners today? But good for you on the ingenuity! :)

According to Ashley said...

QUITE a visual! Hahahaha!

Kirsten said...

That. Is. Hilarious. Oh my word, I was laughing out loud. People are so rude sometimes, but just think of it as preparing you for Mommyhood and the balancing act that requires! :) Have a great day!

Classy Fab Sarah said...

Not gonna lie... after all the hard work to pee, I would have skipped the hand washing. Call me disgusting but it's true.

Shannon said...

I hope you don't try to balance little Eli on your head!

Lauren said...

Soooooooooo funny, I can just picture this whole scenario in my head, haha!! You are every woman my friend!!!! :)

Ashley said...

LOL!! Omg, so funny! I've never heard of the purse around the neck trick. I will keep that for reference! I hate public bathrooms and try never to use one, but that's not really do-able when your preggy. I just keep picturing a cow with a feedbag when trying to envision your purse around your neck, hahaha :) I love craft fairs too, can't wait to see what you got!

RN Mama said...

I do believe you have passed the test, and are now ready for motherhood! Congratulations!

One of my most difficult balancing acts of motherhood came one time when I went to change my daughter's (then 6 months old) diaper in an airplane bathroom. It was a small airplane and there was no changing area in the bathroom, shocking. I think I was in tears after the whole process was through...it felt like changing a diaper inside a shoe box!

Sweet Simplicity said...

I would have paid good money to see this! I can't believe no one bothered to ask you if you needed help. C'mon women!

the rigdons said...

oh my goodness, i am laughing so hard right now just picturing this whole thing! and seriously, who would just let a pregnant lady balance a lampshade on her head?

Becca said...

haha seriously, that's hilarious :-) I love you

Greta said...

That definitely prepares you for motherhood!
Case in point, I've had to go to the bathroom at a gas station before while holding a baby. If you're driving alone and have to go...the baby comes in with you. Don't have a stroller? You hold the baby. Good times.

Also, once you're carring an infant seat and a diaper bag, you'll begin to feel like a pack mule. Main goal here is to balance out the weight on each side so you don't get a permanent lean goin'.

Kassie said...

This is hysterical!! You are too funny. I've hung my bag over my head in airports before when I've had a roller bag and everything else...always far too much work. Ha!

California Wife said...

Oh my goodness, I'm dying laughing! You are too funny for words, and are obviously more coordinated than you give yourself credit for. I would have fallen over and dropped something in the toilet for sure! : )

Rachel said...

You make me laugh so much. That is all :)

Natalie said...

I am crying and laughing so hard! You would think at least one of those women would have helped, but that would have been the end of their fun!

Elizabeth said...

Oh my gosh !! Thank you so much for the good laugh, that was precious and a memory you will NEVER forget !!! Have a blessed day !! Elizabeth

Lauren said...

if i could draw, i would draw you what my mental image of this is. absolutely hysterical.

Lori said...

Too funny!

The worst is when you are potty training a 2 or 3 year old and they have to go all the time. Then they will have to use the public bathrooms, and you will find yourself saying, "don't touch that!" over and over again. Most malls and Target have family restrooms- those will be your friend.

Taylin said...

I know this is very late. But I thought this was hillarious!!! Thank you for the laugh!!