9/22/10

My No-Crying Phobia

I consider myself a big crier. I cry at the most random things and pretty much once a day.

That may seem weird but I consider it healthy.

However there is one problem with my crying. I cry at the weirdest and most random things, not the "normal" things that most people would and do cry at.

For example:

After waiting for 5 looooooooooong years, Luke finally poped the question to me in such a romantic way that just fit us. It was so sweet and I will never forget the amazing words he said to me that night.

But did I cry? Nope. Not a tear.

However during the movie New Moon (Twilight series) when Bella leaves poor sweet adorable little Jacob to go find that nasty savage beast of a vampire I find myself crying tears of angst.

Not normal.

Our wedding day was one of the most beautiful days. After a short and stressful 4 month engagement the day turned out perfectly and could not have been more God-ordained. I tried my best to squeeze out some tears of joy from my eyes.

Did I cry? Nope. Not a drop. Not a drip drop of tears on my wedding day that I looked forward to my entire life.

However, sometimes I will go on photographer's blogs and look at random pictures of people I don't even know who are getting married, or having a baby and I will bawl my eyes out.

Not normal.

Last night I had a dream about my baby. I was in the delivery room about to deliver and when I saw my baby everybody in the room turned to me waiting for me to shed tears of joy over the delivery of my new sweet baby. (by the way everytime I dream about my baby it is the same gender). But I didn't shed a tear, and everybody in the room was shocked that a new mom could deliver a baby and not cry.


And then I woke up and almost cried.

Now I have a phobia that I'm not going to cry when my baby is born and people are going to think I'm weird(er).

I have had a couple of friends who made a big deal that I didn't cry on my wedding day and how weird that is, So clearly, THE PRESSURE IS ON.

This isn't my first phobia since getting pregnant. My first phobia began a couple of weeks ago when I suddenly had a fear that my baby was only going to look like Luke (if ya know what I mean) and I would feel no connection to this hairy baby at all.

But, no worries, this phobia has since passed and I chalked it up to nothing more or less than typical "first-time-mommy-worries"

And really I think Luke is so cute I want our baby to look like him, minus the mounds of hair, so that phobia is gone.

So now I have to deal with this phobia of not crying at the "normal" things in life. Like the birth of my child.


And this too shall pass.

35 comments:

d.a.r. said...

I don't think this is weird, AT ALL. I have cried at every wedding I have ever been at, seen on tv, seen pictures of in magazines, etc....except for my own. I didn't cry when Z proposed, but I cried when my best friend got engaged. I cried when friends found out they were pregnant, but I doubt I will cry when I do.

Or, heck, maybe we are both weird :)

Lauren said...

“Hairy Baby”…. I am cracking up!!!!! :)

Katy said...

I didn't cry when I got engaged or got married...just giggled. A lot. And yet, Oprah's Dreams Come True premier episode? Bawling like a baby.

Amy said...

I'm the exact same way. I'll cry over a commercial, over the most insignificant stuff, but at the most appropriate times to cry I am dryer than a...well something that is dry... desert!

It's not weird, it's normal! for me and you anyways!

Ashley E. said...

Umm I bawled during the "Eight Below" trailer, but when I actually gave birth, I didn't cry. So don't even worry about it.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

You make me laugh. I don't cry at wedding (even my own), and didn't cry when I got engaged. I don't cry for other peoples engagement either. I'm just not a crier.

Or I wasn't. Til they placed BG on my chest. I bawled like a baby. So many emotions. I don't think you'll have to worry about it. The exhaustion alone will probably make you tear up.

And my child looks just like her Daddy. Which kind of makes me crazy. But she's not hairy like him. You know... thank God since she's a girl and I would totally buy her electrolosis to get rid of that junk..

Jenni said...

You, my dear, are HUH-larious, and you will be JUST FINE... tears or no tears!! Everyone handles emotion in different ways; it sounds to me like for YOU personally, NOT crying is a sign that something is truly, deeply meaningful to you... you simply process it more internally.

Have a great day!

Emily and Andrew said...

Just wanted to pop in and say that I TRIED to cry on my wedding day and could not shed a single tear! And then the day my baby was born I cried harder than I have every cried in my entire life! So there is hope for you! Love your blog!

Emily

Casa Cannon said...

oh girl, i hear ya. i'll never forget how embarrassed i was when i cried during a the scene in school of rock (you know, a comedy), where the kids FAKING being terminally ill. I knew they were faking. i cried anyway.

Tabbie:) said...

You are too cute!!
Seriously love reading your blog!

Whether you cry or not when your sweet baby is born, matters not, you will love your child and be a great mommy!!

It's not fun to be normal anyway, just be You! You are awesome!!

Lauren said...

I had a kiddo last week and only wanted to cry over the decision to get an epidural. As for when my baby came out, not a tear. Ha ha. I am also that girl that bawls at sappy movies and can laugh at a funeral. How horrible!?

...btw, my husband is hairy and I swore that I would shave my baby before leaving the hospital if she came out like him. Thankfully, she is beautiful with only a head full of cute hair!

Sitesx6 said...

Hi !!!!!
I'm new to your blog...found you via Kelly's Korner. I don't put blogs in my "favorites" very often, but your blog is there now, because you are the cutest thing and you crack me UP!!!!

Thanks for keepin' in real.
I laughed my head off at your picture of you getting frustrated at your husband....holding your fists...HA HA HA!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing your life.
Kelly in Michigan

Anonymous said...

I haven't read the other comments yet. I haven't even read the rest of your blog. I just couldn't get past thinking about when Luke "pooped" the question!

Yes, Southern Living is on its way.

Mel Lawrence

Mrs H said...

My husband and I dated for 4 years before we got married and I didn't cry on my wedding day either!

Sometimes I think I am more of an empathetic crier, I cry when SOMEONE ELSE is sad or experiencing an uber happy moment. But when I'm happy, I'm just happy :) no happy tears.

Jessica said...

Oh man, i'm cracking up over here!

When Lucy was being born the nurse said, "Wow, she has A LOT of dark hair!" I stopped mid push and was like, "Um, thats not my baby!" :)

I has a total phobia of Penny not being a cute as Lucy. I mean SERIOUS fear. How silly of me!

And if you don't cry when little on is born (I think its a girl BTW) oh well! It by NO means you love her any less than those of us who did :)

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

I do not think that is weird. It is you!

Chiara said...

This is a hillarious post!!!!
I can actually completely relate with you!!!! I cry with the most absurd things such as a toilet paper commercial and there are puppies and it gets me all mushy and then I don't shed a tear when it is seriously appropriate!!

xoxo

www.joiedevivre-chiara.blogspot.com

* Tyly * said...

I didn't cry when I got engaged or married, yet I cry at the most random things as well. It's not weird!! Or if you're weird, then I'm weird! :)

Classy Fab Sarah said...

Dude, I feel you pain. I can never cry at the "right" moment either. I think the stress and nerves kinda "block" my tears - if that makes any sense.

Jen said...

Just so you know I too have had fears that my children (Don't have any yet) will be born with a bunch of hair like my hubby!! So glad to know I am not the only one!!

R said...

You are not the only one who has a weird crying thing. I cry at the most random things and always thought I was alone in that. And somehow I think you'll cry when this baby is born. Even if it is all hairy.



Oh. BTW, you've been tagged.

http://romancingrachel.blogspot.com/2010/09/tag-youre-it.html

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

I didn't cry when Todd proposed or the day we got married. I BAWLED during our rehearsal when I heard all the music, but not on the wedding day. I didn't cry the day Hudson was born either.

But I sob through movies and commercials and songs. If you're crazy I'm crazy, too!

California Wife said...

Ha, I'm the exact same way!!!

Newlywed and Decorating said...

That's totally okay. I am a crier too and didn't cry on my wedding day like I thought I would. I got choked up a few times but no bawling. I was extremely calm which was good because I was in the moment. Your reaction will be just perfect because it will be how it's supposed to be.

stefanielynn04 said...

Oh, I am so with you! I wanted to cry when I got engaged and married (something I always thought would happen)...but nope, didn't happen. I think my husband was a little disappointed since I cry at everything else!

Domestic Goddess said...

girl you are not alone! i swore that i would cry at my wedding and i had a brief tear...but nothing.

i look at baby pics and wedding pics and cry all the time! i'm such a crier!

i think that since we're girls with crazy hormones, we're allowed our "unique" tendencies! :)

have a good night!!

Sonya said...

I don't think it's weird! Everyone is different. I didn't cry at my wedding or engagement. I always feel to awkward in those situations to cry! I'll cry at other people's weddings, but not my own!

Julie said...

I didn't cry at my wedding, but I cried for two straight days after the Lost finale. I cried with two of my kids (the first and the third) and the other two I didn't. I don't love the other two any less. It's a complete mystery to me!

Don't worry if you cry or not on the day the baby is born. Also don't fret about what the baby will look like. Brett looked like Homer Simpson in his ultrasound photo and I worried for three months that he was going to come out with a huge deformed nose. I worried about it for no reason!

Us girls are just crazy!

Lucky in Love said...

I think everyone handles things differently. I didn't cry on my wedding day either. No big deal. It doesn't mean it didn't mean as much to me as someone that did cry. I just express it differently. And I'm sure you'll have a lot more going on during the delivery than worrying about whether you're going to cry or not :)

Jennifer said...

I didn't cry when I got engaged or when I got married.I did cry when Jillian and Brody were born but it was like a confusing cry. I would cry and then laugh because I was soooo excited and then cry/laugh again. I could figure out which emotion I wanted to have so I ended up sounding like I was out of breath! Ha! I'm blaming it on the drugs they gave me during the c-section!

I think everyone handles emotions differently so do not worry about it! :)

Candace said...

This post made me laugh out loud!! You are so funny! I usually don't cry at my 'big events', just at everyone elses! I did cry when A was born, but really it was becuase she had a huge cone head, and at the time i thought it wasn't normal ((turns out, most babies are born with one, and in does, in fact, go away!)) good luck!!!

THE Stephanie said...

I didn't cry when Joey proposed either. He was very disappointed. LOL.

I also didn't cry when Ashton was born, but Joey did.

No worries. Just remember, crying is not a reflection of how much you love someone. :)

newteacherwife said...

Movies? Books? Songs? I can be in tears in no time. The thought of a tear never even entered my mind on our wedding day. I was probably the most calm bride ever and super giddy. I don't think you're weird at all.

Alex and Jill said...

I was on so many drugs, I didn't cry when Amelia was born. And then they took the nice drugs away and I bawled my eyes out. HAHA! Just kidding. Sorta.

And hairy babies are the cutest. Amelia was all kinds of hairy! LOL

Anonymous said...

Wow, you girls are such fucking wimps. If I weren't gay, I'd kill myself.