9/8/10

The First Trimester List

Since getting pregnant I've been compiling a little list of things that have happened to me during the 1st trimester. Most of these I was not expecting and I think it's my duty to let all the "not yet mommies" know about some of these. So here is my list of things I learned during the first trimester:

1. Contrary to how it looks in the mirror, the baby is in fact growing in your stomach and not your butt. Due to the rapid growth of my bum I thought for sure the baby was in there.

2. You will have more gas than you know what to do with. Most adolescent boys would be jealous of you. Your husband will be disgusted. You are growing his child. He will get over it.

3. Your husband will start to have sympathy pregnancy symptoms. And there ain't NOTHING cute about it.

4. If your husband says to you "you seem different is something wrong?" You have permission to hit him

5. It is completely normal to be craving a McDonald's big mac burger with large fries. Purchase said burger and fries. And then throw it in the trash because now the thought of eating burger and fries makes you want to hurl

6. Google is your worst enemy. STAY AWAY. I sat in front of the computer in tears more times than I would care to mention for fear that something was wrong with me, something wasn't wrong, I was only GROWING A HUMAN

7. If you tell your husband, "this week the sweet baby is growing little ears and a nose" and he says "eww" you have permission to hit him.

8. Even though you are hungry all the time you won't want to eat anything. Not because of morning sickness, or because it will make you want to vomit, but because every time you eat something there will be somebody or some website that will tell you the very food that you just consumed is bad for your baby. I was told not to eat a certain food because it wasn't good for the baby. I researched it and found people were on both sides of the issue (don't eat vs eat) so I got brave one day and ordered this certain food. I couldn't even take 3 bites. The first two bites were as if I was eating rat poison. I can't put anything in my body that has a .2% chance of harming the baby.

9. On that note, if you know of something that I shouldn't eat or drink. DON'T TELL ME. I'm better off not knowing. Trust me.

10. If you have pain in your elbow, big toe, eye, ear, and many other places it is most likely not related to what the baby is doing, and although the nurse is patient, she probably wishes you would stop calling.

11. Call it a "baby" bump all you want. In the first 10 or so weeks we all know its really just "I'm having a baby so now I eat whatever I want" bump"

12. Songs that you normally find corny and annoying now make you bawl like a baby

13. Every time you see a sweet sleeping baby you smile and yearn for those next months to fly by so you can hold your sweet babe

14. Every time you see a screaming baby you fall to the fetal position, cry to yourself and wonder what you've done to your life.

15. Do not buy food in bulk. No matter how good it looks in the grocery store, you may hate the sight of it once it is in your kitchen pantry.

16. You become much more aware of everything. Like your laptop on your lap. Is that bad? Is it hurting the baby? And then the crazy mind games start (continue).

17. When you wake up in the morning you are exhausted. Like just ran a marathon exhausted. Growing a human is tiring!

So there's my list. I'm sure there should be some more things should be on the list but I'm too tired to remember.

I am loving this whole experience. Its like I'm a living science experiment! I'm learning something new everyday. I'm just glad I'm not being graded for this science experiment. Those never turned out well for me during my school years.

37 comments:

Meredith - proud mom of THREE! said...

Funny stuff, Megan. Now just make sure you do a list of things you discover during the first few weeks of mommyhood!

Jessica said...

love this!

Stolen by Mullen said...

I cried at songs....I Loved Her First by Heartland and It Did by Blane Larsen. After I heard It Did I knew I was having a girl.

Miss Madison's Mommy said...

There were so many 'surprises' while I was preggo that no one told me about! Around then end of the 2nd trimester I lost the ability to sleep!! pregnancy insomnia was the pits!!!!!! The most awesome part is feeling the baby move or getting hiccups :)

Jon and Steph said...

This is hilarious! Great list! I love your pictures of 10-12 weeks. You look fantastic girl!!

Classy Fab Sarah said...

This post totally makes me smile. It's so you. Love it!

Becca said...

Oh my word I love your list. Cracked me up :-) And plus, so so true!

Sarah said...

so cute! but be prepared! Number 12 doesn't stop after the babe is here :)

Rebecca (Craving Simplicity) said...

This is hilarious!! I'm going to count on you for all of the "what they don't tell you" info that I need before we have a baby! :)

Rebecca (Craving Simplicity) said...

This is hilarious! I'm going to count on you for all of the "what they don't tell you" info before we have a baby!

Jess said...

Love it!!!

Here's my theory on the food issue....... unless you are actually eating rat poison or the doctor specifically tells you NOT to eat it, eat what sounds good.

Genie Marie said...

I am cracking up...and yes, everyone of those things is true. After having 4 kids(don't worry you relax after the 3rd) I could seriously relate with every thing you listed...especially the baby bump in the first 10 weeks. I even loved using the excuse with the last 2 that "you know you show quicker after multiple pregnancies". Really it was just a lot of pizza and Reese Cups!You are just too funny...so glad I found your blog and blessings on this pregnancy..it really is the greatest thing ever!

Genie Marie said...

I am cracking up...and yes, everyone of those things is true. After having 4 kids(don't worry you relax after the 3rd) I could seriously relate with every thing you listed...especially the baby bump in the first 10 weeks. I even loved using the excuse with the last 2 that "you know you show quicker after multiple pregnancies". Really it was just a lot of pizza and Reese Cups!You are just too funny...so glad I found your blog and blessings on this pregnancy..it really is the greatest thing ever!

Emma-leigh said...

LOL. This if some funny stuff, girl. Please continue the random posts. I love them.

Mary Michal said...

Oh, I love #11. I'm 7 weeks pregnany, and my "baby bump" is actually a cheeseburger bump!

5th Belle Avenue said...

LOVE it. All of it. And oh my GOODNESS Google was the death of me during my 1st trimester. And I love #11 - my mom kept telling me she saw a bump and I kept telling her she was only insulting me because CLEARLY it was too early for any sort of baby bump at a mere NINE weeks! IT'S CALLED FAT, MOTHER! :)

Sweet Simplicity said...

Thanks for sharing for all of us who haven't experienced this yet!

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

As someone who hasn't had this experience yet, I'm so excited to hear about these things - good and bad. :)

Julie said...

My advice as a mother of four.

1. Stay away from Google. It will only stress you out.
2. Unless the doc says NOT to eat something, stop worrying about it. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted, even had a glass of wine occasionally and I have four perfectly healthy babies.
3. Everyone has an opinion on what you should eat/shouldn't eat/how to raise your child etc...YOU are the mom and YOU know best. Trust your heart.

Good Luck, and most of all congratulations.

Brown Girl said...

Is it bad that your list just scared the crap out of me? Or was that the point?

Aja said...

Totally true. All of it.
Great list!

Heather said...

You make me giggle!!

newteacherwife said...

I haven't been through this yet, so this list is hilarious and frightening all at the same time. Google will probably be my worst enemy as well.

This is too funny though.

Erin said...

Oh, your list made me laugh sooo much! I'd heard about the gas (why is it that no one else is honest about these things?), and I can relate to all the fears. My husband has already told me I'm banned from WebMD once I'm pregnant. He's a smart, smart man. :-)

A Southern Accent said...

So cute! Good luck to you the rest of the way!

Heather said...

MEGAN!!!!!! You seriously made me almost pee in my pants!!! Which is TMI but I feel like we are close enough bloggy friends for me to share that with you! Plus, I bet you can relate!!! And if not, I hate to tell ya...but you will be able to soon!! ha! I am still so excited for you and loved laughing my way through this post!!!! You are precious!!!
OH- and I always, always, ALWAYS used "I'm growing a person" as an excuse, etc. when I was pregnant. It is HARD WORK. Amen!

Brittany said...

Oh my gosh! I didn't need to know about the butt thing! My butt is already big! I don't need it to get bigger when I have a baby!

Thankfully food in bulk really freaks me out, so I'll stay away when I get to that point.

Can't wait to hear more!!

Jayma said...

So...to sum it up into one thing...you now have permission to hit your husband. :)

Poor Luke.

Elizabeth said...

This post was hilarious. Bravo AND congratulations!!! Can't wait for your 2nd Trimester List. :)

daviscourtneyg said...

so very true. during my first trimester i was craving spaghettios so badly one night that i got my very tired self up and went to the store at 9:30 at night. the husband was out of town. i got home, dumped them out, looked at them and almost puked. i will most likely never eat spaghettios again. not that i ever ate them before. pregnancy is a strange and wonderful experience. enjoy it.

Domestic Goddess said...

you are hilarious! i love when pregnant women dish all the details for us non-pregers yet!

Jenni said...

This was very informative and HILARIOUS, thank you! My husband and I have only been married 7 months, but I'm sure a baby will happen before we know it... and these the kinds of things I need to know!! :)

Lucky in Love said...

This list is spot on girl. Seriously, totally all true!

Emily said...

You are hilarious! I so enjoyed reading this and appreciate it as a "not yet mommy."

Perfectly Imperfect said...

you make me laugh! just wait though.. the weird stuff just keeps on coming.

and number 12? totally gets worse after the babe is here. just warning ya =)

THE Stephanie said...

#15. Funny story. When I was pregnant with Ashton I had an overwhelming craving one night for movie pickles. I finally convinced Joey to go to the store and buy some. He came home with the biggest jar (I'm not even sure you can call it a jar. It was more like a vat.) of pickles known to man.

It sat in our refrigerator, unopened, until we moved out of our apartment and finally disposed of it.

Amber said...

You crack me up and this is an amazing list! I will definitely tuck it away for future use :-) I'd like to request a repeat for the 2nd and 3rd trimesters also!