This weekend I went to the mall and bought a new pair of dress pants.
I have been looking a bit drab at work lately and felt it as time to purchase a new pair of pants to spruce up my summer wardrobe a bit. I think looking nice at work is so important and here lately I have been failing in that area, so it was time to make a change.
I went to the mall, loaded with coupons of course, NEVER shop without coupons or pay full price for anything. IT ALL GOES ON SALE.
And that was your Public Service Announcement for the day brought to you by Megan.
I found a couple of pairs of pants, bought them, brought them home and tried them on.
Before I tell you about the pants,I have to tell you I got this new beautiful full length mirror at a discount store the other day (never pay full price for anything). I brought it home, hung it up (had Luke hang it up) and looked at myself in it and started crying.
This brand new, beautiful full length mirror is a mix between a carnival mirror and your reflection in the side a car.
In other words, short, squaty and penguin-like.
My husband is a tall, slim man who could car less about his reflection and even he said the mirror was a travesty and gave all mirrors everywhere a bad name.
Or something like that.
So here I am looking at my short, squaty, penguin-like self in the mirror and I feel something in my back pocket.
The back pocket of the new pants that I just purchased.
I reach in and pull out 3 empty earring holders.
So basically I just purchased pants that somebody took into a dressing room and used to steal jewelry.
Which really irritated me, because they used MY pants to steal. Even though they weren't my pants at the time. STILL, it irriated me.
And I am no stranger to shop lifting. Well I have never shop lifted, but I once worked at a large chain store that can be found in malls across America and we had a horrible shop lifting problem.
I eventually became the person that was in-charge of standing by the dressing rooms counting each article of clothing that went in, and each article of clothing that came out.
Also known as, talking to my friends, while pretending to work.
And I will never understand why I worked at this particular store, other than the fact that my best friend did.
This store charges $150 for one cotton t-shirt that could easily be purchased at Target for $20.
Have you ever heard somebody say, "omigosh I've turned into my parents?"
That above sentence is living proof that of that statement.
And I am still scarred from my time of employment at this store. Our manager would rate us on our appearance and one time my friend and I found his grading sheet (perhaps we sought it out) and he gave me a B minus.
I mean really, who gives somebody a B MINUS? Just give them a flipping plain B. The minus is unnecessary and hurtful.
I will forever think of myself as a B minus.
However it helps to remind myself that this said manager who gave me a B minus is probably alone somewhere, wearing "Fierce" cologne, crying, thinking about how he gave a high school senior who is still learning to love herself, a B minus and scarred her for life.
And it's also the reason why I can never shop in this store again. Plus they have naked people on the walls (who I'm sure are hotter than a B minus) and I don't care to see that nonsense.
Anyways, I got way off track. Clearly I have some belt up issues with ANDREW who gave me a B MINUS. Let's go back to present time:
So here I am standing in front of my short, squaty, penguin-like self holding empty earring holders and all of a sudden it dawns on me.
This is why people say to wash your clothes before you wear them. Because a THIEF could have tried on the pants before you and got their THIEF germs on them and now you are wearing THIEF pants.
I instantly felt dirty.
And then internally debated whether I wanted to wash these brand new pants and get them all stiff and have to go through that process of getting them to feel good again and be somewhat comfortable although we know they will never feel as good as they once did when you first purchased them, or wear pants that were once touched by a thief.
I chose the latter. Comfort is important to me
Comfort being important to me could also be the reason why I am a B minus.
And that's the story of my new pants, new mirror and old scar.
Also it's the reason I am reading So Long Insecruity and why I will never allow my kids to wear a shirt with a moose on it.
Flipping B minus.