Do you ever feel sucked up into the game of this world?
You want this.
You have to have that.
You will just die if you don’t get a such and such.
Or you NEED to show up to the party wearing a who and who.
I just made up ‘who and who’ but I kind of like it.
I have been dealing with this lately.
I think for most people it is a very normal thing to deal with, but lately it has consumed my life.
I always think I NEED something.
Whether it is an article of clothing, a certain piece of furniture or even a kitchen gadget, I fully believe that I need it and I need it now.
I also fully believe that most of the time it is a straight lie.
It is just hard to remember that in the moment.
Lately I have been a bit irritated with my husband because he is not finding us a house.
For the record I gave up on joining him in this search a looooooooooooong time ago.
I have left it completely up to him.
The other day I was whining around much like a child, complaining that we were STILL living in our stupid apartment.
When I use words like stupid you know I’m serious.
Luke then asked me why I was so adamant to get out of our apartment.
The ONLY thing I could come up was because I waaaaaaaaant a house and I want it nooooooow.
It may have sounded similar to Veruca from Willy Wonka.
Seriously, it was pretty bad.
And yes, I just admitted that I sounded like a spoiled child.
Lately, I have become consumed with the image of a home.
With granite counter tops and plush carpet, and hardwood floors, and wait……see how easy it is for me to become distracted when talking about homes?
I know that we will find a house in God’s timing, but maybe first He is trying to teach me something?
Maybe I need to learn to be content with what I have.
To become content with what I have been given and stop always searching for the next thing.
I am so blessed and have so much more than what I need, yet I still find myself discontent with what I do have.
I think the desire for ‘things’ will ALWAYS be something I struggle with. You won’t see me running around barefoot in a sheet anytime soon because I have learned to rid myself of all material things.
I will always want new clothes and I will always desire to look nice and presentable, there is nothing wrong with that.
It’s the compulsion to always have new 'stuff' and more 'stuff' that becomes the problem.
However, if I learn to break this cycle and to place my Hope and Trust in something bigger than myself it will become easier to do each time, and when feel that little voice saying “I NEED MORE” creep up I can ‘nip it in the bud’.
It seems like, lately, the Big Guy Upstairs has been trying to get me to fully grasp contentment.
Maybe I will finally get it one day.