I have so much going on right now, and so many throughts are swirling around in my head.
Lots of questoins.
Lots of thoughts on what makes a true friend? How do I know where God is leading me? Lots and lots of questions.
Sometimes I think too much, and ask too many questions.
And sometimes through random throughts funny stories come to my mind, and this story is one that just randomly came to my mind the other day. It is a true story.
There was a time when I was 10 or 11 (or maybe older then I would care to admit). However the story is about a special newspaper we received in the mail.
This newspaper was from a little company named Publishers Clearing House. The headline on the front page of this paper had my dad’s name written out and it said that he had won a million dollars.
I was in shock, I couldn't believe that my parents had not told me that we won this money.
I raced to my mom holding the newspaper, excited out of my mind.
First thing I wanted to do with the new money: Put in a swimming pool in our backyard. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, I wanted a swimming pool.
We were millionaires now. Why wouldn’t we put in a swimming pool?
When I showed my mom the newspaper she started laughing and said it wasn’t real, it was just junk mail.
I didn’t believe her.
Why in the world would it be TYPED AND PRINTED OUT if it wasn’t real?
This was not a joke, we won the money and they were coming to deliver it soon.
Hello! The prophetic newspaper told me so.
I remember being slightly miffed at how my mom just dismissed me. She was talking to one of her friends and said something along the lines of “Oh she saw one of those fake newspapers and thinks that we won a million dollars”.
I’m telling you now, nobody has ever taken me seriously in my life.
And now that I am telling this story, I am starting to see that there is reason for that.
Anyways, I don’t remember how I was finally convinced that it wasn’t real.
Perhaps it was the fact that nobody ever delivered the money.
And we are still not millionaires.
I was so naïve and quick to believe that we had a million dollars waiting for us. All we needed to do was wait for somebody to deliver it.
But it was so easy to believe.
I was reading it.
I was holding it.
Which makes sense as to why sometimes it is so hard for me to trust God.
I cannot see into the future, I cannot see what plans he has.
But if he wanted to send me a prophetic newspaper I would be more than willing to receive it.
But I know wanting to see into the future would be not living out in faith and believing who He is and what He is doing.
Sometimes living out in faith is the hardest thing ever and I want to throw a big temper-tantrum and say please just tell me what the heck you are up to up there Mr. God.
But I am reminded through his word to hold on and to keep seeking Him.
So there will be days where I am frustrated, and maybe even days where I am questioning, but the best thing I can fall back on is to know that His words will never fail me. These do not come to me with empty promises, but full of life.
And I keep holding on to that.
Call it my own little prophetic newspaper if you will.