It was during college that I really moved close to God. It was there that I learned what it was to experience a real relationship with Him and what it was like to know Him personally.
There were dry times, when I wasn’t as close to Him as other times, but I never strayed. I always maintained a personal relationship.
A year and a half after I graduated from college Luke and I got engaged and I was immediately thrown into this crazy engaged/wedding planning world. We set our date and I had 4 months to get everything ready.
Which, if you are familiar with the wedding world 4 months is not a whole lot of time. It was extremely stressful. My world suddenly became wedding, wedding, wedding, and everything else took a back seat.
And sadly, this included my relationship with God. So sad, but so true.
The wedding came and went and now I was a married woman. A wife to somebody.
This was the biggest role in my life to date, and instead of spending time preparing for the spiritual aspects of becoming a wife I prepared for the outer aspects of becoming a wife.
During the engagement time I would ‘feel bad’ about not spending time with God, but I kept reminding myself I just needed to get through those four months and then I would pick up with God where I left Him. Ouch.
It did occur to me several times through those 4 months that maybe my life wouldn’t feel so chaotic if I spent a little more time with Him. Possibly, my tears weren’t tears of not knowing what color flowers to order, or crying because the guest list was about 200 more people then I thought it would be, but tears because I was missing a relationship that had been so vital.
After marriage it was not so easy to pick up right where I left off. Spending time with God did not come as easily to me as it once did, and suddenly I found myself relying on my husband to ‘handle’ all the spiritual aspects of our marriage.
I mean, he works in the church; he’s closer to God anyways right?
I can’t tell you what a strain it put on our relationship for me to put this kind of weight on my husband. It wasn’t fair, and it certaintly wasn’t necessary when I was well equipped to walk right along side him. I mean that was one of the main reasons he married me (aside from my witty charm of course).
So over the past couple of months I have been trying to pick up where I left off with God. I know that he never moved and I was the one who moved.
Luke does such an amazing job at leading our little family spiritually that it is so easy for me to sit back and let him handle all of the aspects of it, which is NOT how God intended it and is bascially pretty lazy on my part.
And lets face it, I really don't want to be a spiritually dead weight that Luke is dragging around. That would be no fun at all. Even if I do have Rocky-like-Jumping-roping-skillz.
Yet again another topic I wish there were books about.