5/18/09

The Elephant in the Room

Well, there is an elephant in the room and I decided it was time to talk about it.

No, I'm not talking about how everyone can tell that my skin is freakishly pale, but I am trying with all of my might to refrain from going to the tanning bed this year, but I am only one ghostly white picture away from buying a monthly package.

I am referring to the Quarter Life Crisis I have referenced several times.

You see a couple of weeks ago I thought I was going crazy.

I was over-emotional.

I was moody.

I found myself missing the carefree, comfortable days of my childhood.

And as we all know, I found myself discontent in some areas of my life.

I am so relieved to tell you I'm not going crazy, I am simply going through my Quarter Life Crisis

It is real, and it has hit me.

I am 25 and I am just now figuring out I'm an adult and I am having trouble getting used to that fact.

A couple of months ago my dad gave me a little white piece of paper and told me to take care of it.

It was a paper telling me to get a new tag for my car. I thought this was optional and decided I didn't want a new tag. No thanks, not this year.

A couple of weeks ago my dad asked about that paper, assuming I had taken care of it. I told him I didn't want to do it this year, My tag was still in good condition. 

He then, in his best 'who the heck raised this girl' voice, explained to me that it wasn't optional and I needed to take care of it pronto.

Welcome to adulthood Megan.

I'm still getting used to this whole adult thing and it is taking longer than expected.

In the past I have always had something to place my focus on, college work, graduating, finding a job, a wedding etc. etc. 

But now, I am at a point where I am just living life, and I am sort of freaking out.

I find myself dwelling on issues that could so easily be given to God.

I find myself worrying about the future, even though I have no control over it, and I say I trust the One that controls the future.

But am I really trusting Him if I continue to take it back from Him and try to control it myself?

It is a scary question, but one that I need to ask myself.

I'm sure you have heard the quote: Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere.

This pretty much defines my life right now, always worrying about something, but not getting anywhere because I'm too busy worrying. 

It is an ugly cycle.

So I am working on not worrying as much, and I am working on getting myself out of this QLC. I haven't figured out if I worry because I am in a QLC or if a QLC is causing me to worry?

I think I just typed the same thing in a different order.

Either way I'm blaming the QLC.

And in the meantime I am going to take up a new hobby.

Perhaps a book club, or maybe I will start scrap booking. Do people still do that or do they just make albums online now?

I enjoyed the simple days before all the technology. 

Actually, that was just the Quarter Life Crisis speaking. I do love technology.

So for those of you who told me you are going through your QLC right now, we will get through this together! 

The other day I excitedly told Luke my good news!

I told him I wasn't really going crazy, I was just going through my Quarter Life Crisis. 

He then told me that a QLC is just a nice word for crazy.

Thats why I married him, he keeps me in touch with reality.

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36 comments:

Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

i can't tell you how many times i've messed up on car tags or stickers or or or!=) you are not alone=) there is def an adjustment period, but I think and am thankful that it is such a neat and great time figuring it all out with hubby together! God is so good and we are lucky and blessed to have great Hubbys to go through life with, figuring everything out, and a best friend right with us all the time=)

and i think scrapbooks are great, i am sooo behind!! i really need to get started again=)

Rachel said...

Scrapbooks are still very cool! I may or may not have a whole corner of our spare bedroom dedicated to this hobby of mine!

And hang in there. Like NCF said above, God is good. I struggle everyday with being an adult, but then I just remind myself, that this is natural and many people my age go through this. God wants us to change, and sometimes it's tough. But in the end, it's good!

Brittany Ann said...

OK. I totally did the same thing with car tags last year. Don't feel bad. Why did no one explain these things more thoroughly to us? Hang in there!

(And I still scrapbook, if it's any consolation.)

Shannon said...

I'm laughing over the tags! My parents have always made me renew my own and such, so the thought never crossed my mind that it was optional! LOL Too cute.

I've hit a life crisis of my own. It's called "I'm turning 28 this year and have no kids or immediate plans to have them soon...."

I'm ready, my husband is not. :(

LuLu Lake said...

Our 20's are the hardest years of our lives. This is the time that we "find ourselves", so to speak. We graduate from college and some of us get married, and then we find "real jobs. Everything happens so fast that it is hard to transition. It's a period of time where you feel stuck and have no clue what's going. Our 20's are the hard part - We are now responsible adults who no longer are supposed to lean on our parents for everything (but wouldnt it be nice if we could).

What I am saying is that I totally 110% percent understand what you're going through. It's hard. I am 26 not married (or engaged) and I started working on my masters in Education. I was going to go to law school but failed to get in. I was pre law in my undergrad. I had to redo everything that I knew! My career choice. my boyfriend (my ex was a jerk - story for another day). Basically my life turned upside down! I think what is important is that we refocus and start again. Take a breather. I worry like crazy, but I think once we stop all the worrying and realize we cant control the situation our QLC will just go away and we will feel better. . . I am still working on this. :-)

I hope you find whatever it is that will make you feel better. I have found that a good book is a good place to start. I am going to teach Sunday school in the fall, maybe that's something you could do too to help :-)

I hope I helped! I ramble a lot.

Have a great day!

Jenny Gann said...

That's how I felt a few months ago! I had graduated, got married in July, and was looking for a job. And I couldn't. find. one. Bahhh...I felt like I had hit all my milestones in life until I decided to have kids (which will be a whileeee), and I wasn't going anywhere. Then I found a WONDERFUL job, and over-busied myself so that I would feel like I was moving. Then I got stressed out, and eventually decided that I was going to take a deep breath, be ok with actually having a moment for myself, and it's awesome. We're only this young once. If (or when) we have kids, we'll be moving towards their milestones, so just enjoy being able to bask in the uncrazy time we have right now. I am!

Jon and Steph said...

I completely feel your pain in every way! I worry about everything and NOTHING! It's absolutely ridiculous and I should in every way hand it over to God, because deep down I know he'll take care of everything now matter what happens. But the little voice in my head won't shush and I still continue to worry! I'm working on it slowly and do feel like things are looking up! There's no need to worry about the small stuff!

Proverbs 12:25 "An anxious heart weighs a man down." I try to remember this... because it is so true!

Jon and Steph said...

P.S. I LOVE that saying, I've never heard it before!

Sweet Simplicity said...

You should take sewing lessons or cake decorating classes or learn a few italian phrases(I don't think I can learn a whole languauge, but a few phrases sounds do-able!) Why don't you just move back home and we can start a new hobby together! :)

*~! megs !~* said...

I went through this exact same thing right after I got married. All of a sudden you're part of a married, adult couple living on your own with all the responsibilities of that. But you still feel like you.. which is a young carefree girl. I had the hardest time adjusting to this and to my new role in life. Best advice I ever got was to find something for me to do that worked with my new life. A new hobby of some sort that still gave me the opportunity to be me. Keep your head up honey.. Adulthood can kinda suck but it's so much better than childhood was really!!! Hope this helped a little... I'll be praying for ya!

Lauren said...

I definitely went through this about a year ago...I felt pretty much useless in my life as a wife, employee, daughter, etc. since I had nothing to focus on or push towards. I had great plans of picking up a hobby but then miraculously the time passed & my feeling of uselessness faded away. Good luck, I know this too will pass! ;o)

Becca said...

I was just thinking this morning about how every time I get put "in charge" of something at work or at home, I feel a little panicked like "what? but I'm not old enough to do this! I can HELP but not be in charge!" . . . You'd think I'd be over that since I'm, you know, a mom and all . . .

anyways, just wanted you to know that I totally feel your pain and you will be in my prayers! :-)

Jess said...

Having a QLC is not fun. I'm going through one, too.

I completely agree with you.... it's the worrying that gets you. You try to let Him take care of it all. But, then I start worrying that I'm just wanting what *I* want, not what HE wants.

Then, you have to remember to take of all the adult things.

It's very stressful.

I'm praying for you!

Lindsey said...

Haha your tag story made me laugh out loud!
I def went through this crisis and I still cannot believe I'm old enough to be married or have kids if I wanted, insane!!

Becky said...

Everyone goes through times like this...it's just growing up and life changes. You are not CRAZY! You don't need to tan, eventually you'll just except being white and 10 years from now you will thank yourself! Trust me!

THE Stephanie said...

Oh my sweet friend. I wish I could tell you it gets better... but then you turn 30. I'm sorry.

I'm gonna go cry now.

*the word verification is crysidn. Ironic, don't you think?

PinkSass said...

Things will for sure get better. And don't worry we all get a little crazy sometime. :) Nothing wrong with that. I'm past 25 and believe me it gets better. Of course there are ups and downs but it always keeps getting better.

Rebecca Jo said...

I did the same thing.. & got worse with every year until I hit 30... I really lost it at 30... oh, sorry - probably not helpful! But now, I'm 37 & not AS crazy.. so the bright side - you'll be alright in the end.. :o)

USCEmily said...

I'm thinking about you- I'm 27 and haven't had a QLC, so I don't know specifically what you're going through, but I know that at times I have experienced discontentment with certain things, as well. You'll get through it and you're not crazy ;-)

Tara Gibson said...

oh i went thru a stage where i put EVERYTHING off, i thought it would go away haha.. and it didnt! your not alone, we all have "crazy" moments : )

MrsSouthernBelle said...

Im about to hit 25 as well. I think we are going to celebrate with a very childish slip N slide birthday party... you know, to make the transition easier!

SassyEngineer said...

I won't be hitting 25 for a few more months, but I still know what you mean. I have just been living life for over a year now (married for a while, finally graduated, and now I'm just working). We have also had a house to keep us busy for a couple of years so I was feeling stuck. My hubby is still in law school so I kind of felt like an underachieving loser. I didn't want to go to grad school and I just work and come home everyday. Well, I started finding hobbies, and now I'm so busy that I don't have time to get them all done. I also started helping with the youth group at church to give me another way to feel connected to God and working for His good. I know God will pull you out of this, but I will tell you what my mom has always told me when I get down and worry (and I worry A LOT) - "an idle mind is the devil's workshop" so get busy and get your mind busy! I'll say a prayer for you :)

petrii said...

Okay girl, so this comment should focus on your QLC, but when you mentioned scrapbooking I nearly leaped out of my chair (okay that is an exaggeration, but my heart smiled =)

I do a little of both, online and the old fashioned paper type (did I just write that? Because I still send cards through snail mail ~~ am I dating myself? anyway...) It is a great hobby and you can do as much or as little as you like. I don't go crazy with it. I have enough supplies to do a little when the mood hits me. I mostly make things for others at this point and do my faithbook (I scrapbook my memory verses), anyway.... if you ever'd like some tips or pointers on either, paper or digital let me know. And if not you can e-mail me anyway, because I just like you girl =)

Okay lonnnnggggeeeessssttt comment ever is now closing =)

Love ya girl,
Dawn

Amber said...

I'll be 27 this summer and I know where your coming from. I feel like every few years I hit a wall and feel the same way. You'll get through it!

Emily said...

I have totally been in your shoes my friend.. I have moments all the time where I freak out about the future.. or really miss how carefree and easy going college and high school and heck my childhood are.. but then I get back to reality and teach myself to appreciate the now and live in the moment! It is hard to do but something we all struggle with everyday! God will guide you down the right path!
Ps- first year my mom gave me my paperwork.. i too blew it off and welp.. huge ticket later and late payment on the car tag and the price of the car tag.. i learned my lesson:)

writing4612 said...

It's ok. Everyone goes through this, but not everyone calls is QLC.

Better to realize you're an adult now rather than later. Many people grow older, but they never grow up.

Hang in there!

jlc said...

Oh my gosh! I was JUST talking about this today with my mother... and she says to me.

Well you're 25.

I'm like noooo not yet! I have 2 more weeks!! Oh gosh, it is not going to be a happy birthday. Hahah!

Well I'll try....

Faith said...

You're not crazy and we love you no matter what!

Samantha said...

Megan, I am right there with you sister. You have said it so eloquently too. I think that it why I am struggling so much with waiting about law school. Hang tough and remember you can do this QLC.

My name is Megan... said...

I believe that QLC is exist and are 100% normal!!! At least you aren't in the dark as to what you feel ya know?? PS - Same story I have on my car!! my dad thinks it's registered in my name AS WE SPEAK..ekkk not so much!!

b. said...

i never heard that before about the rocking chair .. i like that! :)

a new hobby....
try doing yard work. great alone time... good workout... and the finished product is pretty!

Anna said...

It's so funny you posted about this because I was just about to hop on over to Amazon.com and buy the book, "QuarterLife Crisis" by Alexandra Robbins.

I had a guest speaker in one of my classes the other day and she highly recommended it!

There's also one called, "Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice from Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Survived"

So, maybe QLCs do exist....or maybe we all are just plain crazy!

Lacy said...

OMG...I have SOOO been there. QLC is real, and turning into an "ADULT" is no fun at all!! When people ask me how old I am have trouble because I still think of myself as like 20, but then have to remind myself, nope...I am 26!!

The New Black said...

The tag story had me laughing. I know, it's weird to think we got here so fast. Part of it is great, but I find myself looking in my life's rear view mirror quite often and wondering why it's so far away.

Heather said...

Megan- You are the cutest thing and even in hard times you have a sense of humor and sweet spirit that is contagious! I know you will conquer the "quarter life crisis"!!!
P.S. My mom is here with me and we have talked about you several times. She says you are SO GOOD at your job and that you just might be the cutest, most fashionable and just darling girl she knows at the school!!! I'm just sayin'- looks like this adult thing might agree with you!!!

Juliane said...

Your story about the car tag freaking cracked me up! You are so funny - I love it!