6/24/08

Confession

I have a confession to make.
Ready?
I am OBSESSED with checking my mail. See, a couple of weeks ago Luke and I sent out our wedding invitations. It was a glorious weekend. Well a couple of days after that we started receiving RSVPS. Can I just tell you how much fun it is to go to the mail and to see stacks of rsvp postcards!!!! I love it so much. Sometimes I come home from lunch just to check my mail. Who cares that gas is $4 a gallon and it takes me about 35 minutes round trip. I need to check those RSVPS!!!!

Currently I am sitting at Real Summer Nights at my church (it is our version of VBS). I love watching all the kiddos. They are so stinking cute.
For the past two days I have been at a conference at work. Every person that works on campus attends this conference. I met so many new people. It was really great.

Lately, I have been dealing with insecurity. I don't know where it came from or why it popped up. Actually I do know where it came from. I have an enemy who tries to bring me down and uses any tactic that he thinks will work. Well lately I have given him my security and traded him for it this annoying insecurity that drives me crazy. I have let things bother me that never would have bothered me before. I have allowed statements that were made as joke to sit and eat at me, when normally I would let them slide off my back. I have become insecure. Yuck.

Heather, a fellow blogger shared a piece of her heart on her blog and it really got me thinking about my insecurity and how it is time to get rid of it.
This week at the work conference and at RSN (VBS) I realized that we are all the same. Whether we are small children trying to make friends or 'fit in' with kids in the classroom, or we are adults sitting at work trying to develop friendship with coworkers we are all the same. We are all creatures searching to belong, and until we allow ourselves to be seen for what we are, a beloved child of God, we will continue to search. Nothing can fill this void. We must find our self in him, not in what others think of us. I love people I love getting to know people, but lately I have allowed myself to be robbed of these opportunities because of insecurity. Tonight I choose to recognize that I am missing out and to live in freedom! Oh how great that is!

Ok lots of random comments. I am sitting at church with lots of thoughts going on in my mind.
I am supposed to be security. Seriously? One of the kids just jumped up at me and scared me. Security at its finest.

4 comments:

Jenna said...

Loved this post, Megan. I think we all deal with this on varying levels, and it is great to be reminded that we cannot ever find happiness with ourselves by what other people, the world, the media, or whatever else say we should be. HE made us and in HIM we must define who we are. It takes time, but it's all about the journey, my friend!

And P.S. I also feel that Mail = GREAT Happiness! :)

Julie said...

satan is using insecurity this week to attack so many people. Know you are a beautiful creature in Him!!!! You are absolutely right....nothing can fill us like God can!! That's where I go wrong...I allow worldy things, thoughts to cloud my mind.

Trina said...

I start to feel that way too when I am overly stressed. This too will pass!

When I first got an email account (like 10 years ago) I was obsessed with getting home from a flight (I used to be a flight attendant) to check my mail, like I could hardly wait! I think partly because I was living away from home and my friends and it was something for me to look forward to, like coming home to a friend LOL

valerie said...

Hi Megan. I'm Kristen's mom and I read your comment on her blog and wanted to meet you.
I can relate to the insecurity issue. I'm doing an online Bible study with 7 other women (and about 3000 others through Beth Moore's ministry) titled "No Other Gods." Every person in our group so far has mentioned insecurities as being one thing that they deal with regularly. Just as you said, lately I've been really touchy about comments people have made to me. I know they are joking, but it's been bugging me this week. I think when we're extra tired and/or stressed satan knows he can use that against us.
Kristen got married almost 2 years ago (in Aug.) and I so well remember all the many, many, many details involved.
The verse I prayed over and over that God gave me & was on our Aug. calendar, right from the start, was "My Presence will go with you." Exodus 33:14. He was with us during the planning time and very present at the wedding.
You and Luke are in my prayers.
Nice to meet you!
Valerie